What Our Emotions Are Trying to Tell Us
Emotions are a natural part of being human, yet many of us have learned to ignore, suppress, or label them as "good" or "bad." But what if emotions weren't problems to solve or weaknesses to hide? What if they were messengers trying to get our attention?
Emotions Are Messengers
Emotions aren’t random. They arise in response to our thoughts, experiences, and environments. The help us stay safe, find community, and take care of our needs. Think of them like internal signals:
Anger might show up when a boundary has been crossed.
Anxiety can signal uncertainty or a need for safety or control.
Sadness often points to loss, change, or a desire for connection.
Joy reminds us of what matters most to us.
When we listen to our emotions with curiosity instead of judgment, they can help us identify our needs and values. For example, if you feel frustration when a friend cancels plans, it might mean you really value that connection.
Emotions in Groups: What Research Shows
Our emotions don't just impact us as individuals; they also influence how we relate to others. A recent study explored how emotional awareness in groups can actually prevent conflict from spiraling out of control.
Emotional awareness acts like a buffer. By recognizing what others may be feeling, we create space for understanding rather than miscommunication. The earlier this awareness is developed, the better a group can navigate difficult conversations. These insights are supported by research from Boros (2020), who found that emotional awareness and regulation within teams significantly reduce the likelihood that task-related disagreements will evolve into relational conflict (Boros, 2020).
In therapy, you can learn to better understand your own feelings while also becoming more attuned to what others might be feeling.
Tuning In to Emotions
So how do we build emotional awareness in our own lives? Here are a few simple steps:
Pause and name the feeling. Instead of reacting right away, take a breath and ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now?" Use the Feeling Wheel below to help you find the right label for what you are feeling.
Notice the body. Emotions often show up in the body—tight shoulders, clenched fists, a racing heart, or butterflies in your stomach can all be clues.
Ask, "What do I need?" Emotions often point to unmet needs. Anxiety might point to a need for reassurance. Sadness might signal a need for support.
Practice with others. Emotional awareness grows in community. Try asking a friend how they're feeling—and really listen.
Feeling deeply doesn’t mean you’re too sensitive—it means you’re paying attention. Emotions can be rich sources of insight if we take the time to listen. Whether you're on your own or part of a team, building emotional awareness is a powerful way to strengthen relationships, improve communication, and support mental well-being.
So the next time a big feeling arises, pause and get curious. What might this emotion be trying to tell you?
References
Boroș, S. (2020). Controversy without conflict: How group emotional awareness and regulation can prevent conflict escalation. Group Decision and Negotiation, 29(2), 251–269. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10726-020-09659-1